Lobstercon 2022

Hey y'all, I just wanted to share my experience at LobsterCon 2022. Inspired by Mike Flores’ wonderful write-up of the North American Premodern Championship (but without his impressive record and 3rd place finish), I’m hoping that this article might nudge someone who is on the fence about going to the next one to give it serious consideration.Tl;dr; Do it! Without further ado, let’s dive right into it:

I flew in from Montreal alongside the ever-so-dangerous Karl Rivest Harnois. Meeting him in person at the airport constituted the first time I got to hang out with someone I’ve met through the Premodern community in real life. For this reason, let’s take a little detour and talk about Karl: Piloting a Welder-Survival list that he tweaked the night before in lieu of sleeping, Karl would finish the day with a 5-2 record, play Pez Vnholy in the feature match area in round 2, and end up in 13th place. What’s even more impressive is that he did it all on less than 3 hours of sleep over the last 36 hours. I told you he was dangerous! The guy is like the Incredible Hulk of Premodern: The more tired he is, the better he plays.

As for me, I played a modified version of the Reanimator deck I used to top 16 the January monthly.

I figured that graveyard hate would not be too rampant, and that I would rather let my opponents deal with my threats instead of the other way around. Moreover, this was the only deck I've been able to break the 3-3 plateau with in the monthlies, so I could probably steal a few games and prey on aggro lists. Although I did not foresee that there would be no UW Control decks, I assumed people would rather avoid playing Prison-y/Control-y decks in timed rounds (sorry Stasis). To my dismay, I somehow managed to finish at 18th place, which might not be a report-worthy finish, but is definitely 93 positions better than I predicted (the event had 111 attendees). My recollection of the games themselves is a bit hazy, so I figured I’d focus on memorable moments and my overall experience rather than the play-by-play. Also, given the deck mostly wins by doing Reanimator things, assume that I won by swinging in a few times with a fatty that my opponent could not answer in time.

Arriving a little early at the venue, I immediately got to meet Jared Doucette, who was walking around like a real life Siege-Gang Commander, ready to fling anyone who got out of line. Jared had previously (and graciously) agreed to teach me his black-boredering ways at some point during the weekend (Appendix A). I handed off my offering for the charity raffle and set out to cause as much damage as I could. Next to Jared, on stage, was everyone’s favorite midnight opponent, Mr. Andrew Walker. Not too shabby: Five minutes in, I got to meet two-thirds of the Premodcast. This trip was turning out great already.

Next, I singled out Premodern’s own German Juggernaut, Jens Jaeger! During E.P.I.C, I joked about combining Jens’ iconic platypus playmat with Phil Taylor’s Balduvian Horde playmat to create the one-of-a-kind, Platopuvian Horde!

Taking a joke too far.

While I was able to get the image made in Photoshop, the resolution of Balduvian Horde was too low to create a playmat to present to Jens. I showed him the picture, which he absolutely loved, at the exact moment Gordon Andresson was passing nearby. Jens made me raise my hands (and stand on my tippy toes) to show it to Gordon as well, and they both burst out laughing. As another aside, I don’t know where Gordon finds his energy, but I swear that every time I saw him, he looked like a million bucks (and I’m not talking about the price tag of his suit). Gordon mentioned that he was on beer number six this morning, having had four with (for?) breakfast, and was already on number two at the venue, before the event even started. Maybe that’s the source of his powers? I handed Jens his unerrata-ed Ashnod’s Coupon, which I had promised him previously on Facebook for reasons I no longer remember, but most likely involved me making a fool out of myself. My strategy of bribing 50% of the Premodern celebs I met was in full swing!

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Ashnod's Coupon
0
Artifact

{T}, Sacrifice Ashnod’s Coupon:
Target player gets you target drink.
You pay any costs for the drink.

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Round 1

Getting down to business, my first round opponent was James Rosenblum, who was on a homebrew, mono green Ponza/Prison. The main things I remember from that match are that 1) he was a really nice guy, 2) his Elephant Grass, Sphere of Resistance, and Thermokarst have kept me at bay for most of game 2, and 3) that he won that game by slamming a Gaea’s Embrace on his Treetop Village, swinging in for the rest of my life total. I thought it was really cool, reminiscent of the Kibler-esque Armadillo Clock on Rith finish. With 3 games spanning nearly the whole time, I managed to swindle out the win at 2-1.

Round 2 (1-0)

When I saw the pairing for round 2, I let out an audible expletive: The 1998 World Champion, Brian Selden! I approached the table with the same level of enthusiasm as my kids approach daycare after a long weekend, albeit sans the kicking, screaming, and occasional diaper-slinging. Armed with the same 60 cards he won with all those years ago, all in gold border, Brian added a Squee for a 61 card main, but had a modified sideboard. Much to my delight, Brian was not only a really nice guy, but he was seated next to another nice Brian, Mr. Kowal, who I always knew as the Boat-Brew guy from Evan Erwin’s Magic Show. I am eternally grateful to Brian Kowal and Flint Espil for taking photos (mostly of my opponents), because thanks to them, I have photos of me to remember the event by. That is definitely a big regret of mine: Brian Selden and other opponents have asked me to sign their door prize cards, and many other people were constantly taking pictures. Next LobsterCon, I’ll be on self-appointed paparazzi duty.

Before our game, I told Brian how my first purchase into Premodern was his World Championship deck, in order to play Survival. He confessed to owning 4 copies of the World Championship deck, and showed me his championship ring, both of which sent me starstruck. As one might expect with Survival, the match itself was pretty grindy, and just like the last match, it spanned nearly the entire round. The most memorable moment for me was that in game 1, where Brian had brought back his Verdant Force on turn 3, faster than I could get my fatties on board. The reason I haven't reanimated anything was because I was busy trying to deal with either the Recurring Nightmare and Man-o-War in his hand with Therapy. From Kowal’s picture, I know that Brian backed up his Verdant Force with both Man-o-War and a Tradewind Rider, and so he took down game 1.

Me vs Brian Selden.
Courtesy of Brian Kowal. Thanks man!

I’m not sure what I did in game 2 and 3, but I recall some nonsense with Oath of Druids, me Naturalizing his Survival, and him reading Akroma, which I referred to as the better Spirit of the Night. After the match, I asked the TO to keep the match slip, which I then asked Brian to sign. “I kinda did" was his reply, referring to the fact he had written down his name, but he signed it anyway. Being married, I have developed a sixth sense for picking up when someone thinks I am being an idiot, so I thanked him and backed into the proverbial bushes, à la Homer Simpson.

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Akroma, Angel of Wrath
5WWW
Legendary Creature — Angel

6/6

Flying, first strike, vigilance,
trample, haste, protection from
black and from red

“No rest. No mercy.
No matter what.”
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Round 3 (2-0)

Speaking of Homer, my round 3 had me facing another Simpson: Michael Simpson, who had recently top-eighted the Spring Fling on RG Goblins, and would impressively Top 8 this event with a similar list. “I think I know what you’re on,” I said. Like my two previous opponents, he was a super nice guy; and like the previous two matches, the games took up nearly the whole time allotted for the round. This was both surprising, as I’d expect Goblins vs Reanimator to be really quick either way, and also problematic, because at this point, I haven’t eaten anything in nearly 12 hours (no food at the venue nor time between rounds) and it was starting to show. In game 2, I had almost made my worst misplay: Turn 1, I played land and Careful Study, binning Akroma and Cabal Therapy. I began passing the turn, but then said: “Sorry, I’m actually not done, do you mind if I play something else?” Being a super nice guy, he didn’t, so I go: Lotus Petal, Reanimate Akroma, and swing for 6!

Game 3 was also super grindy, as I had to overcome not one, but two Tormod’s Crypts. I got rid of the first one by trying to Reanimate his Siege-Gang. I then Oathed a Nishoba in play, which kept attacking and gaining me life, but also shrinking as Oath got Mike a blocker each turn. At 32 life and with a 2/2 Nishoba, I sacrificed the ghost kitten to flashback a Cabal Therapy, knocking out the 2 Siege-Gangs which he had previously gotten off of Ringleaders that blocked Nishoba. Sadly, he Naturalized my Oath before I could get another creature into play, and I had to cast the last reanimation spell I had in hand: Exhume. He popped the second Crypt and got back one of the Siege-Gangs that I made him discard. Big oh-uh! Adding a Warchief and a Piledriver, he got me down from 32 to 4 in two swings, then I died to exact-sies once he sacrificed everything to Skirk Prospector and the Siege-Gang.

Before the round finished, Karl came to see if I was ready to eat. Given I was still playing Mike, he went to get food for both of us. After our game, Mike fed me some beef jerky and trail mix, thanks to which I got my color vision back. He also offered me some cigars, which reminded me of Austin Powers’ Goldmember (“A cigar and a waffle?”), and made me wonder whether Mike’s real last name wasn’t in fact Myers. Even though I was now fed, there was a little problem: The next round’s pairing went up, but Karl still hadn’t returned. I informed his opponent, the ultimate end-boss, Rich Shay (foreshadowing!) that his opponent might run a little late, and went over to my table. Thankfully, Karl returned about a minute later, proving that good things do happen to bad people (me getting food, not Karl being late for his match).

Round 4 (2-1)

In round 4, I battled Tino Galizio, who was also on Goblins, but of the mono red variety. Tino was, like all of my opponents, a really nice guy, and was a pleasure to play against. However, unlike the previous rounds, the match lasted less than half of the time window, as it was a really bad matchup for him, both pre and post sideboard. Without access to Naturalize, he had no way of getting rid of a resolved Oath, and given my deck had a playset of Nishobas and Akromas, Lackey had very little chance of connecting. I won 2-0, Reanimating Akroma on the first turn in game 2. While I felt bad for Tino, the plan was working, so I celebrated by eating the smoked-meat sandwich that nearly got Karl disqualified. With food in my system, the next logical step according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs was to start drinking! I located Jens and we headed over to cash in on that beer I promised him. As one might expect, Jens was running hot with his signature, blinged out Elves list, and would finish at 15th place. I was hoping that some of his awesomeness would rub off on me, as I would definitely need it for my next opponent.

Round 5 (3-1)

In round 5, I faced off with Jeff White, who was sporting a team Sped shirt. I expected a difficult match, and Jeff delivered in spades. Piloting the Rock with deadly precision, game 3 was a real slug fest which could have gone either way. The final turns boiled down to a Visara and an Akroma swinging in the air at Jeff, who was bringing in blockers to the best of his ability off of my double Oath. Unfortunately for him, only Birds of Paradise could block, and even then, only Visara, because of the wrathy angel’s trample. Jeff had a Pernicious Deed for most of the game, alongside seven lands in play, but he never got the eight one needed to take Akroma down. Visara being black and Akroma having protection from black made most of his spot removal spells ineffective, so he was banking on the Deed for the rescue.

At this point, we had quite the crowd gathered around us. In fact, after my untap and draw, I hear someone say over my shoulder: “Undiscovered Paradise goes back to your hand.” I look over to see Mr. Sylvan himself, safekeeping the peace. “Not that it matters,” Hall of Famer Olle Rade added, but I thanked him for keeping me honest. I was so concentrated on deciding whether to Reanimate Jeff’s Baloth, or sacrifice Visara to Therapy and bring her back, that I kept forgetting to bounce the land after each use. One of the things I learned from playing Reanimator is that it’s really easy to overextend and mess things up by doing seemingly clever plays. As a result, I stuck to my strategy of attacking every turn, and somehow pulled out the win! Like Selden, Jeff asked me to sign his door prize card. And just like Selden, he was a super good player and an incredibly nice guy. I thanked him for the awesome games and chatted a little longer with Olle before the next round. I told him that I have his deck from Worlds 1996 built at home, and he lamented that it was before the annual championship decks, so it didn't exist in gold border. We then turned to talking about World of Bums, his original invitational design, and how the concept really resonated with my life.

Photobombing Olle and Michael. Sorry guys! Courtesy of Flint Espil.

Round 6 (4-1)

Round 6 had me battling Nate Gates, aka Donnie’s Partner, which is literally what was written on his nametag. I asked him about Donnie, which turned out to be his wife’s nickname, and we chatted about losing and finding engagement and wedding rings. The conversation probably took longer than the actual match, as Nate would proceed to completely demolish me in two quick games. Plow, Crypt, and Miscalculation proved too much for my deck to overcome, and I missed a combat trick where his Mongoose went from a 1/1 to a 3/3 with only 3 cards in his graveyard, killing my blocking Putrid Imp. Being a super nice guy, Nate kept on apologizing for throwing me around like a cheap dirt rag (see what I did there? Edited: a reference to Mike Flores’ recap of his game with Flint during the top 8), claiming that he had really lucky draws. I told him that I had it coming for playing Reanimator, and proceeded to christian him an honorary Canadian for all of the apologizing. I wished him good luck for the rest of the event (he would finish in 11th place), and sent my best wishes to Donnie.

Round 7 (4-2)

For the 7th and final round, I played Jeff Grasso, who was a gentleman and a really nice guy trying his hand at Premodern for the first time. At this point, I’m beginning to wonder: Seven rounds, seven super nice opponents. Statistically speaking, I am bound to run into a jerk at some point, no? I concluded that it must be me and tried to be on my best behavior for the rest of the round. Sadly, at this point, my energy levels were really low, and I apologized in advance if I came off as unexpressive. The truth is, I had not played so much magic in such a short span since the release of Tenth Edition.

When I drew my opening hand, I thought to myself that I never want to see these cards again, or at least take a break from the deck for a while. The memorable moment from this match came when, in game 3, he led with a Mountain and a Jackal Pup. I started off with Ritual into a Sickening Dreams, pitching Nishoba and a land, hitting us and the Pup for 2 each, and then brought back Nishoba with Reanimate. So much for good behavior….

Final Record: 5-2

All in all, I was very surprised with my 18th place finish. My entire preparation for the event consisted of watching one recorded game between Michael Heup, The Cloudgoat Ranger, and Flint, playing Reanimator vs FEB. And even then, I fell asleep halfway through (not because of the gameplay; I was really tired and digesting a big meal). I got to meet both Flint and Michael over the weekend, as well as other PSS names like Aaron Dicks and Robin Lundh, and they are even nicer in person, if that’s even possible.

Clowning around with Aaron Dicks.
Courtesy of Flint Espil.

Overall, I was very happy with my LobsterCon experience. I got to play a ton of Magic and meet many of the opponents I’ve battled over the last couple of months. I discovered the format after watching the Professor's video, and I started playing the monthlies in September of 2021. The reason I bought Selden's World Championship Deck is because I was certain that Premodern cards are going to spike, now that the cat is out of the bag. And while I probably overpaid for the deck, getting to play with the wonderful people in this incredible community has been one of the best things that could happen as a result of looking for ways to play Magic during a global pandemic.

While there are too many people to thank individually, I would like to shout out two of the people I really looked forward to meeting in person: Javier Lugo and Bryan Stillwagon. We had really clicked online during the monthlies, and getting a chance to spend some time in person with you guys (and your crews) was definitely the highlight of my trip. I love you guys and this community, and I am looking further to future gatherings dedicated to this nostalgia-filled format that brings us all together. And of course, a huge thanks to Karl for saving the day and just being awesome. To end on a quote from Shivam Bhatt: "It’s not Magic without the Gathering."

Peace out.

Appendix A - Black Bordering 101

I was eager to learn Jared’s black-bordering techniques, so I brought along my Posca markers. And so, after all of the excitement of the Premodern championship, I’ve asked Jared for a masterclass. Unfortunately, the markers were brand new and super runny as a result. To make matters worse, I forgot to bring a ruler. Being the champ that he is, Jared tried to do his best, but the results speak for themselves:

Fortunately for me, he brought along his tools the next day, and took the time to properly show me the process in detail after the Premodern side-event. As you can see from the card, he was a good sport about it, and even agreed to sign my card!

Appendix B - Karl's List

Karl finished in 13th place.
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