2024 July Monthly

The July monthly has come and gone, and what a glorious monthly it was. Eleven mages of Might and Magic™ made it for a night of Premodern, a mix of the usual suspects and newcomers from Karl’s (probably coerced) commander pod. I never tire of hearing about players from other formats discovering Premodern: They invariably commiserate about the state of mainstream Magic and the overpowered and undercosted monstrosities unleashed by the latest Modern Horizons set. The remedy? Apparently, swinging 10 times with a pump knights for lethal, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Here is what the meta looked like:

1 Natural Order Rock
1 Mono Blue Stiflenought
1 Sligh
1 Suicide Black
1 Mono Black Midrange
1 Replenish
1 Survival Welder
1 White Weenie
1 Mono Green Stompy
1 Pyrostatic Oath
1 Goblins

As a tribute to Remi Ouellette, I piloted the latest configuration of Mono Black Midrange, almost the exact same list he took to the top 16 of the July online monthly. I say “almost” because I transformed his previous list, which I already had sleeved up, into this iteration, but was missing one copy of Skeletal Scrying (I forgot to swap one in instead of the fourth Phyrexian Arena). My first opponent was Derrick, whom I first met in LobsterCon 2022 (which you can read all about here). You see, Karl and I flew on Friday morning to participate in the Premodern portion on day 1, while Derrick and the rest of the crew drove in overnight to play OS on day 2. Karl and I had checked into our Airbnb after a grueling day, finishing in 13th and 18th place respectively, and were understandably exhausted. I had fallen asleep in my half of a queen-size bed by myself, and woke up the next morning with a companion. While I don’t think he actually said it, I like to tell the story as waking up to hear: “Sup? I’m Derrick.”

Derrick was on Pyrostatic Oath, a Flint Espil creation unveiled in the February 2023 monthly as an attempt to build a prison Oath deck that closes out games with fast burn, a stark contrast to the painfully slow simmer of Parfait. The deck’s Oath target of choice is Bloodfire Colossus to discourage opponents from playing creatures, punishing players for casting spells with Pyrostatic Pillar, beating with manlands while burning creatures and domes alike. I kept a weird hand with a Swamp and 2 Mishra’s Factory without knowing what Derrick was on and Duressed away a Sylvan Library. Derrick dispatched my early offense, destroyed the first Factory, and played out the Pillar. A Wasteland took care of the second, and Derrick deployed a second Pillar, anticipating a drawn out waiting game.. Unfortunately for him, my deck served the other two Factories, and the pair would go the distance.

Game 2 almost started with mulligan on both sides, albeit for different reasons. I thought that I had boarded out my Phyrexian Arenas, and was amazed to draw 1 in my opening hand. Remember the swap I haven’t made? I asked Derrick if I could board out a card and still mull to 6, and he not only agreed but suggested that we both start a fresh game with the full 7 each, and I said yes. I expect tournament players to cringe at this point, but such take-backs are not unheard of in the casual tables of Premodern.

Derrick quickly dealt with my Factory, Nantuko Shade, and Withered Wretch with Wasteland and burn. I returned the favor and Smothered his Factory, which meant that both of us were hurting on mana. With 3 lands in play, I cast a Masticore off a Dark Ritual, thinking I could sacrifice it during upkeep in case he cast Oath, which he did. After some deliberation, I pitched Hippie and swung with Masticore, bracing myself for Bloodfire Colossus, which Derrick flipped off Oath. During my following upkeep, I did not pay for Masticore because of the plan I had begun hatching after my previous turn’s draw, so I passed back. Derrick attacked with Colossus and sacrificed it after damage, bringing me down to 8 and himself to 5. I drew a blank and shipped back for one last crucial turn: Thanks to an early Duress, I knew he had Bolt and Fireblast in hand, but only 1 Mountain in play. Any burn spell off the top meant he wins thanks to his Wooded Foothills, which he cracked (down to 4!) to play Sulfuric Vortex, tapping out. I drew for turn and smiled, as it was exactly what I needed: A 4th land! I played the Factory and cast a Dark Ritual to an exactly lethal Drain Life! GGs, my former bunkmate, GGs!

My second round opponent was Leo, a newcomer to Premodern whom I’ve seen pilot Karl’s Suicide Black list before the start of the event. Leo won the die roll and Ritual-ed out a Negator on turn one, a ballsy move without knowing what I was on, but one that would pay off as I had no turn 1 play. Negator swung for 5 and was joined by a Dauthi Slayer. I played a Dark Ritual of my own and summoned a Nantuko Shade and a Knight of Stromgald, which kept Negator at bay. Unfortunately for me, Leo enchanted his Slayer with Sinister Strength and swung for another 5. My only removal spell was a Diabolic Edict, and for some mysterious reason, I could not temp Leo to block with Negator. Two swing laters and we were off to sideboarding.

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Sinister Strength
1B
Enchantment — Aura

Enchanted creature gets +3/+1
and is black.

“I bless the living with a song
of death.”
—Lord Dralnu
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In game 2, I opened with a Ritual Hippie and passed. Leo summoned a Carnophage and passed. I began tearing his hand apart with Duress and Hippie, taking his Cursed Scroll and Smother. After an unfortunate attack into a Factory taught the newcomer about the Factory’s pump ability (I offered a take-back, he declined), I continued controlling the board for the rest of the game, and Leo soon found himself hellbent. He attempted to mount an offense with a Slayer and a Horror, but an Engineered Plague on Dauthi put an end to those plans. The Spector was quickly joined by Shade, and the two successfully raced the ill, lonely Slayer.

Game 3, however, is where I witnessed first-hand why this format is so great: I kept a hand with Smother, Edict, and Engineered Plague, thinking I could pull a repeat of game 2. Leo opened with a Sarcomancy and passed, and all I could play was a Swamp. He attacked for 2 and added a Slayer to the board, while my less impressive contribution was a second Swamp. He attacked with both and I made the misplay that cost me the game: The correct play would have been to declare no blocks and let Leo do his thing, but I chose to Smother the zombie token in anticipation for Engineered Plague on Dauthi next turn. Hardly able to contain his excitement, Leo responded by casting a Dark Ritual into Hatred, paying 16 life! Dying to Hatred on turn 3 is a right of passage that everyone should experience at some point, and I highly recommend it. In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy: “I’m not even mad, that’s amazing.”

My final opponent of the night was another LobsterCon 2022 veteran, the ever enigmatic Laurence, who had generously lent me 3 Underworld Dreams for my OS debut on day 2 of that event. Laurence was playing White Wheenie with blue for Pikula, and I couldn’t wait to surprise him with my janky, pro-white pump Knights. Game 1 started according to plan: I had opened with Unmask, taking away an Angel (leaving a Plow in his hand), and played a turn 2 Knight. From where I was sitting, the game revolved around his seemingly endless supply of Seal of Cleansings, which kept my Arenas and Masticores in hand and forced my Knight to pull my weight. Thankfully, he was soon to be joined by another. I tried baiting the Seal with Factory, but Laurence had Wasteland and Plow, and his side of the board grew to 2 Silver Knights, Mother of Runes, and Meddling Mage (naming my Knight!). I used a double Dark Ritual to ramp out a Masticore with enough mana to kill the Mom and Mage, but Laurence Plowed the broken specimen, firmly holding on to his Seals. Over the course of the game, he would trade 3 Seals to destroy my 3 Arenas as soon as they hit the board.

Eventually, Laurence went down to 6 life after cracking his Flooded Strand, and presented the deck for a cut, stating: “There is one card in my deck that can save me now. I need you to cut it to the top.” I obliged, cutting the deck to the best of my ability, and watched in awe as my opponent began grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. After slamming down his one copy of Worship, he triumphantly exclaimed: “Now you have something to write about!” Thankfully, my experience with Sligh has taught me how to play around Worship, so I began sculpting my hand. I attacked him down to 1 life with one of the Knights, while he added another Mom and Savannah Lions to his board. When I hit 12 mana (yes, really), I played Masticore number 2, taking down all creatures except a single Silver Knight. Laurence complained about not drawing any angels for the entire game and passed back, still feeling invincible behind his enchantment. I sank all of my mana into a Drain Life on his last creature and came in for the last point of damage, much to his disbelief. “You’re right, I do have something to write about,” I quipped.

In game 2, I kept the sketchiest hand of the night, a greedy Swamp, Factory, Ritual hand, fueled by visions of my turn 1 play of Ritual, Duress, and Knight. Unfortunately for me, I would not draw another land for seemingly the next 10 turns. Fortunately for me, I didn’t need to, as over the next few turns, I proceeded to draw 2 copies of both Unmask and Contagion, and I was able to Smother a Mom and Edict a Mage that named Dystopia (which I indeed had in hand). All the while, my singleton Knight kept Swinging without the necessary mana for a single pump. Laurence tried to race with a Knight of his own, but thankfully never drew the Angel. As his life was getting low, I recall sacrificing my only other land (Factory was destroyed early on), to Waste the Adarkar Wastes (what a waste!), keeping Laurence off the necessary mana to play Angel off the top. Much to my delight, my turn 1 Knight was able to swing 10 times, earning its place in the deck and in my heart.

When the dust settled, Mikao won his second monthly, this time piloting Karl’s undefeated Natural Order Rock list. As always, a huge thank you to all the players and to Karl for organizing!